It’s Not That We Don’t Want To: Why Breastfeeding Support Systems Matter
Why It’s Not About Motivation
When we look closely, most parents who don’t breastfeed aren’t choosing against it—they’re responding to circumstances that make it difficult or unsustainable.
Returning to work, recovery from surgery, mental health challenges, and lack of help at home can all interrupt breastfeeding before it truly begins.
The CDC reports that while about 84% of mothers in the U.S. start breastfeeding, fewer than 46% are still exclusively nursing at three months (CDC Breastfeeding Report Card 2024).
That drop doesn’t signal lack of commitment—it reveals a lack of infrastructure.
The Two-Week Return-to-Work Problem
Roughly one in four women are back at work within two weeks of giving birth (U.S. Department of Labor 2023). That’s before lactation fully stabilizes and often before the body has healed.
Even when workplaces are supportive, consistent pumping breaks and private, sanitary spaces remain a challenge.
Policies like the PUMP Act now require employers to provide break time and a non-bathroom space for milk expression for one year (U.S. DOL Fact Sheet #73).
But laws don’t automatically create cultural understanding. Emotional support—and systemic accountability—still matter.
The Weight of Invisible Labor
Many new mothers carry the mental load of caregiving without consistent rest or reassurance.
Without guidance, those midnight questions—Is baby getting enough? Am I doing it right?—can grow into stress, anxiety, or self-doubt.
Research by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, a leading perinatal mental health expert, shows that successful, supported breastfeeding reduces risk for postpartum depression, but stressful or unsupported attempts can increase it (Kendall-Tackett, J. Clinical Lactation, 2017).
Support changes everything.
The Missing Generational Wisdom
For centuries, breastfeeding wisdom passed through families and communities.
But for many women—especially women of color—that lineage was disrupted by systemic inequities, including the closure of historically Black medical schools and cultural stigmas that replaced support with silence (Owens et al., Birth, 2021).
Today, women of color are less likely to receive lactation counseling and face lower breastfeeding initiation rates, despite similar levels of intent (Perryman et al., Journal of Human Lactation, 2022).
The issue isn’t motivation—it’s access, representation, and trust.
How Doulas and Support Circles Help
Breastfeeding isn’t an individual act—it’s a community practice.
Doulas, lactation consultants, and peer groups help fill the gap left by rushed appointments and early discharges.
Support circles allow new parents to hear:
“You’re not alone.”
“There’s no perfect way to do this.”
“Let’s try one small step together.”
This kind of reassurance builds confidence and normalizes the learning curve that breastfeeding naturally requires.
Why Education Before Birth Matters
Research shows that most women make their decision about feeding before the baby is born (Wambach & Riordan, Breastfeeding and Human Lactation, 2022).
That’s why prenatal classes and conversations—focused on curiosity, not correction—can be powerful.
When I meet with clients, I ask:
“What have you heard about breastfeeding?”
It opens space for hopes, myths, and family stories. From there, we can gently separate fact from fear and help them feel ready long before labor begins.
My Role as a Doula and Postpartum Coach
Support shouldn’t end when the hospital stay does.
As a doula and postpartum coach, I help families design sustainable feeding plans that include rest, nutrition, and emotional care—without guilt or pressure.
Together, we work toward realistic goals that honor your life, your recovery, and your values. Because when a mother feels supported, her baby thrives—and so does she.
References
U.S. Department of Labor—Paid Leave Statistics 2023
Kendall-Tackett K. “Breastfeeding and Depression,” J. Clinical Lactation, 2017
Owens et al., Birth, 2021—Black Maternal Health and Structural Racism
Perryman et al., Journal of Human Lactation, 2022
Wambach & Riordan, Breastfeeding and Human Lactation, 6th ed., 2022